So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
