def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
