no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
