Welp...herpes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
