he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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