I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
