Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
