stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
