Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
