:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
