girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
