Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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