i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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