I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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