we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
