im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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