I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
