Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
