im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
