The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize