one two three fourrrrnication!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
