Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
