is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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