I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
