I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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