Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
