Redeem this text for a blowjob
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize