she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
