what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
