He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
