you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
