He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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