This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
