her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I would ride that face into the sunset
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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