You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
