just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Be still, my beating vagina.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He better not be in your backpack
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
