maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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