dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
