Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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