Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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