I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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