You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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