Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
