So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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