yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
