Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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