I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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