this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
