There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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