Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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