Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
