she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
