hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Found your dick twin last night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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