I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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