I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
