I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
