just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have grass duct taped all over my body
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
